Category: Central Asia

Turkmenistan – And Now for Something Completely Different

I wish I could have stayed longer. Would I ever want to live there? Absolutely not. But when you travel for awhile you crave for different experiences and Turkmenistan is most certainly different. Extremely so. For example, I was walking through the streets in Ashgabat, the capital. Upon glancing to my left I saw two ladies, mop in hand, buckets on ground, standing in the middle of the road. Strange I thought. Watching them closer they were actually mopping the road. Huh?? The reason became apparent although this didn't help my thought provoking surprise. The two ladies, it turned out, were scrubbing clean those painted on arrows that let cars know which way to turn. Left anyone, or maybe loony. Who does that?? I reckon only in Turkmenistan (or now I think about it, maybe North Korea).

Ashgabat was a mighty clean city. In fact it was too clean, abnormally so for a city of this size. It helps that many of the multiple lane highways surrounding the city centre have so few cars on their 6-8 lanes that you can easily walk out into the middle of the road take a photo or two, maybe even three, with no threat of being run down. It also helps that the number of people on these streets are so scarce and those that do exist are mostly those that are the ones cleaning the already clean. Ladies sweep the gutters of these roads with their straw brooms, the pristine parks are tended by gardeners (who I guess must second as cleaners) and the grandiose buildings, of which I will be telling you about soon (definitely), also have teams of people either sweeping, hosing down or climbing high to scrub the buildings white. White is a big thing in Ashgabat. In the Guinness Book of Records Ashgabat is named the city with the most marble buildings in the world. And let there be white, hallelujah.

Turkmenistan is a rich country through oil and gas, though this wealth has not filtered down to the population. You see, after the fall of the Soviet Union a egotistical dictator (Saparmurat Niyazov) took over the reins. As with all dictators the people suffered while the elite prospered. He conducted the country as if it was his personal fantasy land. He renamed one of the days of the week to his own name. Monday, Tuesday, Dave, Thursday...Hmmm I like it! The Turkman word for bread was replaced with his mother's name (as was one of the months). Strange enough yet? There's more. His dislike of people using gold teeth as replacements for pulled teeth led to a decree that people should chew bones (his reasoning being that dogs don't loose their teeth). But it also seems good teeth comes at a price, our canine friends were banned altogether from the capital city, Ashgabat. They smelt too much for his liking. Fortunately the hospitals weren't banned from the capital as they were everywhere else in the country. Mr.Niyazov thought all sick people should come to the capital for treatment. Hope he had a fleet of helicopters for the emergency cases but I very much doubt it. While the people suffered he built extravagant monuments of himself including a 12 million dollar statue that rotated so that he would always face the sun. He wrote an autobiography called Ruhnama that had to be learnt if you wanted to drive, after all, it was part of the driving test. Beards were outlawed (there are still issues with this one, when applying for my visa I seriously considered shaving mine off). And for the cherry on top lip syncing was banned at concerts. I could go on but this isn't a history lesson. Fortunately (!) he died in 2006. Most (!) of his more obscure laws and decrees have now been repealed but from my brief visit the people are still very much repressed and the country has definitely not opened up. Visas are supposedly randomly given and tough to get (although fortunately not so for me). Internet was very rare and when available global news sites, social media and messaging are blocked. When travelling on rural highways you have to stop occasionally and can only proceed when a red light next to a camera goes out. Smile! The most worrying thing that happened to me personally was when I went to leave the country I was questioned repeatedly about two people I didn't know. My denials were ignored and more questions about these people followed. Eventually I worked out that these were owners of a guesthouse that I had tried unsuccessfully to locate a few days earlier with the help of two passerbys. Mr.Immigration and I cleared up the confusion, he took a picture of the guesthouse's location on Maps.Me and stamped my passport. BUT how did he know I was looking for these people's guesthouse a few days earlier???? Maybe one of my so called helpers phoned the authorities. BUT how did he know it was me looking for these people's guesthouse???? I had never given these people my name. Police state anyone? I hope Sendar and Elvira are ok.

Buildings in Ashgabat are most definitely white and made of marble. I had previously met another traveler who had seemed freaked out by the experience of cruising around such a vast amount of whiteness. Most of the city is quite beautiful. One street in particular was particularly opulent with domed roofs, marbled columns everywhere attached to large fronted pompous (and pretentious) government buildings. It really is a world class street to behold but not only was it blocked off by guarding soldiers but also no photography was allowed anywhere in the vicinity and believe me, there were enough soldiers around to ensure not even a sneaky snap could be taken. To ensure I saw as much of the city as I could I hired a taxi for 3 hours at less than $2 an hour. During this trip we visited many sights such as the world's largest covered (in marble) ferris wheel (not working but big). A 6 storey pyramidal (marble) shopping complex (empty) was located in Independence Park, as was a tall monument nicknamed the plunger for obvious reasons once you saw it. The last place of interest in this park was a bizarre monument to 'Ruhnama', the aforementioned biography written by the ex-dictator. I visited many other places such as the Arch of Neutrality, the local circus and the Wedding Palace, all white and made of marble. It really is an interesting city made even more unreal by the fact that at nearly all these unique places I would be the only person there. Close to the true center of the city there were many cars and people but a short transit changed the whole dynamics of the city although the infrastructure surrounding these areas suggested that there should be more people and cars. Fascinating place, again, glad I don't live there.

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If you ever come this way ensure you bring your quota of two packets of cigarettes. Foreign cigarettes are like little nuggets of gold in this country. I used them as part payment for a 7 hour taxi ride (made it a lot cheaper) as well as an incentive for another taxi driver who with the knowledge that cigarettes would come his way helped me alot in organising things in and around the city. My first night in Turkmenistan was spent on the floor of a train carriage that I hadn't booked (bribed the station manager a total of $2.50 for the 5 hour ride). The only space for sleeping was where the 2 carriages joined and a few cigarettes helped the conductor find a few more blankets that helped us in getting a couple more hours kip. The reason for this train trip was that I had spent some time at the 'Gates of Hell'. This is an actual crater that was made when the weight of gas exploration equipment created the ground to collapse below it during the 1970's. The resultant crater leaked gas and some bright spark thought by setting it alight the problem would go away in a few days. 40 years later it still burns. It is a place I've been looking forward to see for years and I wasn't disappointed. The other geological site I visited was the Köw Ata underground lake. Situated 65m underground this lake is thermally heated so it was on with the swimming gear. Quite an unique experience made even more so by the number of pigeons that seemed to live in this underground cavern.

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Other things that happened:
- Upon entering the country a lady appeared in the immigration control area and after a brief explanation that she was a medical officer (and before I could respond) placed some type of thermometer on my forehead before saying I was OK. At least, I think it was a thermometer?? 
- Tragedy struck after a long day walking around the city without food and water. A brainfade led to me in leaving my tablet behind after taking a photo. Half an hour passed before realizing and panic setting in. Running back trying to go over in my mind where I could have left it wasn't pleasant. Arriving at the most sensible place was initially a letdown before I heard shouts in the distance. So many thank you's followed to the man who hung around waiting. US$10 made his day (maybe month).
- Official bank exchange rate is US$1 = 3.5 manat. Easily obtained black market is US$1 = 17-18 manat. To get around this discrepancy 5 star hotels will only accept US dollars (I know, I tried). 1 litre of petrol = 1.5 manat (10c).Bus around town = 2c. Taxi to most places around town is 10 manat (60c).
- I own the 3rd highest score on a pinball machine in Berkarar Shopping Mall in Ashgabat (Deadpool). And long may my name stay in lights.
- Getting in is usually easier than getting out. So was the case in Turkmenistan. Rolling up to the port to catch a ferry across the Caspian sea the day before my visa expired didn't help. They told me to come back the following day. Arriving lunchtime no one could tell me when the ferry departed let alone if it had arrived. So after waiting 9 hours they shuttled me into a transit waiting area to ensure I didn't exceed my visa. There I spent the next 25 hours, by myself (except for non-english speaking border guards). Fortunately I had read these things happen so I bought a bit of food and water earlier so survived until other people started piling into the area. Excited that things were happening I was again let down when after 2 hours we got on the boat (11pm at night) only to find out the captain had decided not to sail until the next morning. For US$100 (foreigner price) I had hoped for a cabin but no, the floor is where I slept. Next morning we departed (yeah) and on schedule, 13 hours later, we arrived. Next after 2 hours we were allowed to alight the boat and for the first time things seemed to change for the better as they allowed foreigners to get off first (there were 6 of us). We had landed quite away from the capital of Azerbaijan, Baku, and so a bus had been provided. Unfortunately after getting off first we had to wait 4 hours as the bus wouldn't leave until everyone was off the boat. So my 13 hour boat trip took just over 60 hours. Not good but hey that's travelling.

Four Stans and a Man

I have absolutely loved Central Asia. The people are friendly, there is heaps to do, great historical sights, good hikes as well as many other things to see. In this blog I have included 4 of the 5 'Stan' countries I visited. The last is worthy of its own posting. The countries included are Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Uzbekistan and Tajikistan (alhough the latter is primarily covered in a previous post regarding a 8 day jeep excursion to the Pamir Highway). Please note that to change things up a bit the following is not in any type of chronological order. 

Short Story No.1

"I've seen lots of Australia" (Samarkand, Uzbekistan)

In my 5 days in Samarkand I never came across a large supermarket, and medium supermarkets were still rather small and their limited aisles seemed to cater for future diabetes cases rather than for any health aficionados. Thus when I saw a supermarket that seemed that it may even have a remote possibility of something different I would make the effort to investigate. In seeing one of these I deviated from my trip back to my hotel only to be stopped by a local who asked in very broken English from where I came. On giving the reply Australia his face lit up and positivity flowed as he showered me on how great a country Australia was. "Australia good" was repeated continuously. It seems my friend lived in Australia 8 years before where he worked as a painter in Sydney and he recounted on how he earned $8000 a month. His eyes lit up as he reminisced his past life. I was about to ask why he left Australia between the continued "Australia good" when he changed his line to "even Australia jail good". Thought I'd leave it at that never finding out how he ended up in jail and if he was comparing Australia's finest to Uzbekistan's. I thought it was a definite possibility.

Khiva, Uzbekistan
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Interesting Facts (as I saw them) No.1
No.1 (especially Kyrgyzstan)

 Smiles are expensive in Kyrgyzstan as many people have mouthfuls of gold teeth. Not fillings, teeth. Even some younger people.

No.2 (Uzbekistan)

If you exclude all the older cars (like Ladas), vans and trucks i think I can safely say at least 80% of all cars in Uzbekistan are Chevrolets. Not sure how they wrangled this one but someone did a mighty fine job. They're everywhere.

No.3 (Tashkent, Uzbekistan)

You always get asked from which country you are from. This is pretty much Central Asia wide. Most often after saying 'Australia' you get the reply back of 'kangaroo'. Once while I was in the main bazaar in Tashkent a butcher asked the question in very broken English. After I replied his reply set me back a few steps. Rather than the normal kangaroo he responded with 'Skippy' and did a kangaroo pose. He didn't speak English so I didn't find out how he knew this Australian icon. On the television? Couldn't be could it, (?) after all it's Uzbekistan. 

 

Son-Kul Hike, Kyrgyzstan

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Short Story No.2

"Haircut Talk" (Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan)

Anyone who reads my blogs know I hate haircuts but there comes a time when it has to be done. After a really bad haircut in Oman my hair had grown to the stage where people would initially only see a weirdo character and turning into a loner wasn't part of my perceived travel itinerary. So in Bishkek I checked out a few hairdressers (from the outside) before waiting until 8.30 on my last night and forcing myself to go into one. I started to get a cut by a lady whose English was mightily limited and mid-stream on trying to explain how a 'bowl cut' wasn't what had I asked for the owner came over and took over. Her English was very good (as were her haircutting skills) and while talking about languages she recounted how she could never speak to her grandparents directly as they had come from Korea and they had never learnt the local languages. She would always have to talk through her parents to have a conversation. She had never learnt Korean. I was fascinated. As I contemplated this thought she then went on to say that she couldn't speak the national language (Kyrgyz) although she had grown up in the country. It seems the Russians (when in control) would not teach the local languages, just Russian and English. So as it is now widely used and spoken (by the elderly and young) she cannot read, speak or write it and has to see a Russian equivalent to understand. Hard to imagine this for a person who comes from Australia.

Bukhara, Uzbekistan

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Interesting Facts (as I saw them) No.2
No.4 (mainly Kyrgyzstan)
It seems most rural people own livestock of some sort. As summer approaches and the temperature rises shepherds gather their goats, cows, sheep and horses and make their way up into the mountains, usually via the main highways. There they set up a camp of summer yurts and live there while the animals graze. In these areas the yurts are additionally used as accommodation for travellers to sleep. Some put on majestic feeds and the accommodation is top class. Around the end of September with the days shortening and the temperatures dropping the animals are returned to the villages below and are housed over the winter period.

No.5 (Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan)
Subways in Almaty, Kazakhstan are North Korea deep (that's a long way down). Subways in Tashkent, Uzbekistan are tourist attractions, each with it's own distinct flavour whether that be chandeliers or spaced out paintings of spaced out astronauts. Also if you ever need a policeman in Tashkent go to a subway. Either it is a conscious decision on where police should be or that's where they hang out. 

No.6 (Kyrgyzstan)
Fermented horse milk is not as bad as what other tourists harp on about. I was staying in a yurt during a 3 day hike when I saw the lady of the tent churning the milk. She was only too happy to give me some. It was unique, smoky sort of flavour with some underlying evil but just like vegemite, which also has an evil entwined in its flavour, I quite liked it. Also, horse meat sausages aren't too bad either. Especially when you've been hiking all morning and your guide doesn't mention that they are made from horse until your 3rd sandwich. I had been enjoying them up until then and decided it would be silly to stop enjoying them now.

 

Subway Stations


Short Story No.3

"All I expected was some simple passport photos" (Osh, Kyrgyzstan)

India and Nepal had chewed up all my passport photos and since I needed more for visas I decided to pop into a camera store. I started to consider if this was the right place when the lady asked me for the size. Aren't all passport photos the same size? Anyway, we let a ruler figure it out. She then took two photos, asked me to sit down and went over to her computer. I sat patiently while she tapped away at the keyboard. I could not see her screen but I was thinking this seems to be taking a long time. I dismissed my thoughts thinking that maybe their software was ancient. She then rang someone and was getting instructions as she would ask, wait, type and respond. I was getting old. Eventually the phone call ended and she showed me her computer screen. Stunned, she had super-imposed a suit onto me (thanks photoshop) and made my hair rounded and very neat. In fact I think she made me look very Persian. All without asking. I wouldn't have minded so much but I think I might look better than I normally do! She was happy with her work but I didn't use the photos.

Kyrgyzstan


Interesting Facts (as I saw them) No.3
No.7 (Almaty, Kazakhstan)
They have a Red Bull soap box race (Australians call it a billy cart race) in Almaty. Not sure I would say I was lucky to have arrived the day before it was on, but that is what happened.

No.8 (Uzbekistan)
I think everyone should start doing this one. When you either greet a person or shake their hand you place your left hand on your heart. Nice.

No.9 (Samarkand, Uzbekistan)
For the people of Uzbekistan every 12 years has a significant meaning as you enter a new stage of your life. It is also astrological as, for example, the year of the rabbit is repeated. To celebrate this cycle Uzbeks have large celebration on any birthday divisible by 12. This explains while walking down an alleyway and acknowledging some people in the street I was dragged (maybe a bit strong a word, but close) into the house, fed local dishes and toasted many shots of vodka. All for a boy's 12th birthday. There was one local dish I really enjoyed so I kept repeating its name to myself so I wouldn't forget it. Bloody vodka.

 

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Samarkand, Uzbekistan

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Short Story No.4

"You could write a story about Mitchell " (Dushanbe to Khojand, Tajikistan)

Mitchell is I would guess around 50. He told me he still is a boxer and loves to ride his bike through the mountains which is apt as there are many mountains between Dushanbe and Khojand. Mitchell also is a rally car driver and today Mitchell just happens to be my taxi driver. Mitchell loves driving fast and I believe Mitchell wanted to show how good a rally car driver he is just in case there were any foreigners in the car who doubted his story. When Mitchell looked in the mirror and asked if I was ok I gave the not good, not bad horizontal wave of the hand. It didn't slow Mitchell up. I guess Mitchell thought I was not so good because of car sickness rather than a life threatening disease, which happened to be him. It led to me being placed into the front of the car and closer to the action. We stopped for lunch. Including Mitchell there were 4 of us in the car. A girl who had once sat in the front seat and a 30's something man that had the tendency to make phone calls and shout at the person at the other end. This man was an interesting specimen. He had paid extra for the unused seat in the back. Although we had only spoke a few words at the beginning of this 4 hour ordeal he paid for my lunch as well as for fruit I had when we stopped at a roadside stall. On the other hand, Mitchell loved talking to me and at the end of the journey he gave me a big hug. Pretty sure this is a first for me, hugging a taxi driver at the end of a trip but I reciprocated, I think, out of relief and the realization that yes, I am still alive.

Tajikistan


Other things I want to remember:
- Coal is commonly used for heating. It is not unusual to see trucks transporting it or in smaller cities see it dumped by the road for people to come and buy.

- Cotton is everywhere in Uzbekistan and also found in Tajikistan. Fields of white cotton balls can often be seen as well as pickers collecting the crop in autumn. In Uzbekistan there are reports of forced labor (4 million people?) being used to keep their crops competitive in this globalized world. Not good.

- Are there more speed detectors and radar guns than cars in Central Asia? No, but that doesn't mean there ain't plenty. Tough life on the road in these parts with radar guns everywhere in some Central Asian countries (Kazakhstan and Kyrgyzstan), as well as their opposing radar detectors in the long distance taxis. From what I saw the taxi's and the detectors are winning. In the countries with fewer radar devices police just love to pull you over for a small fee. That is why when travelling for a jaunt between Bishkek and Jalabad in Kyrgyzstan I want to tip my hat to our driver who did not own a radar detector, but instead, had the uncanny ability to remain focused for the entire 9 hour trip and at the first site of a car in the distance slowed down considerably to ensure his funds went to more worthy causes. Well done! Drivers also seem to think seat belts are a hindrance to driving rather than a life saving device. Except for a chap in Uzbekistan all didn't wear the belts unless they came up to a check point whereby the belt goes on but then again off as soon as it was passed. Not sure that this attitude is a long term smart move. 
- Are the very common pomegranates better in a drink than eating the actual fruit? Are you supposed to eat all those thousands of seeds?

- Boxing bag machines which let you know how hard you hit a punch bag are taken very seriously in Osh, Kyrgyzstan. Who needs a shirt anyway?

Tashkent, Uzbekistan

Quick Summary of Places Visited
(not much to see here unless you are me):

Almaty, Kazakhstan - Cosmopolitan, Cafes, Tree-lined streets

Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan - Good Hairdresser, Huge Electronics Mall

Kochkor, Kyrgyzstan - Possibly the friendliest kids in the world, they all say hello.

Jalabad, Kyrgzstan - Student accommodation is poor (smells like damp), joined many ladies for dinner but had to pay (not sure if it was a restaurant or not, just saw them through a window in some type of store and they rustled me up a feed, nice food and had a good time)

Osh, Kyrgyzstan - Stayed in a hostel so met many good travellers, US dollars from ATM

Dushanbe, Tajikistan - Great Korean restaurant

Khojand, Tajikistan - Happy to be alive after taxi

Tashkent, Uzbekistan - Got my Turkmenistan visa (so, so very happy)

Samarkand, Uzbekistan - Registan, Gur-e-Amir & Shah-i-Zinda my favorite historical sites of this city (there are many) 

Bukhara, Uzbekistan - Strange hotel manager (a starer), Ferris wheel ride, some nice sights but not the jail 

Khiva, Uzbekistan - Best place for pictures of historical buildings 

Kazakstan