Category: Turkmenistan

Ashgabat was a mighty clean city. In fact it was too clean, abnormally so for a city of this size. It helps that many of the multiple lane highways surrounding the city centre have so few cars on their 6-8 lanes that you can easily walk out into the middle of the road take a photo or two, maybe even three, with no threat of being run down. It also helps that the number of people on these streets are so scarce and those that do exist are mostly those that are the ones cleaning the already clean. Ladies sweep the gutters of these roads with their straw brooms, the pristine parks are tended by gardeners (who I guess must second as cleaners) and the grandiose buildings, of which I will be telling you about soon (definitely), also have teams of people either sweeping, hosing down or climbing high to scrub the buildings white. White is a big thing in Ashgabat. In the Guinness Book of Records Ashgabat is named the city with the most marble buildings in the world. And let there be white, hallelujah.

Turkmenistan is a rich country through oil and gas, though this wealth has not filtered down to the population. You see, after the fall of the Soviet Union a egotistical dictator (Saparmurat Niyazov) took over the reins. As with all dictators the people suffered while the elite prospered. He conducted the country as if it was his personal fantasy land. He renamed one of the days of the week to his own name. Monday, Tuesday, Dave, Thursday...Hmmm I like it! The Turkman word for bread was replaced with his mother's name (as was one of the months). Strange enough yet? There's more. His dislike of people using gold teeth as replacements for pulled teeth led to a decree that people should chew bones (his reasoning being that dogs don't loose their teeth). But it also seems good teeth comes at a price, our canine friends were banned altogether from the capital city, Ashgabat. They smelt too much for his liking. Fortunately the hospitals weren't banned from the capital as they were everywhere else in the country. Mr.Niyazov thought all sick people should come to the capital for treatment. Hope he had a fleet of helicopters for the emergency cases but I very much doubt it. While the people suffered he built extravagant monuments of himself including a 12 million dollar statue that rotated so that he would always face the sun. He wrote an autobiography called Ruhnama that had to be learnt if you wanted to drive, after all, it was part of the driving test. Beards were outlawed (there are still issues with this one, when applying for my visa I seriously considered shaving mine off). And for the cherry on top lip syncing was banned at concerts. I could go on but this isn't a history lesson. Fortunately (!) he died in 2006. Most (!) of his more obscure laws and decrees have now been repealed but from my brief visit the people are still very much repressed and the country has definitely not opened up. Visas are supposedly randomly given and tough to get (although fortunately not so for me). Internet was very rare and when available global news sites, social media and messaging are blocked. When travelling on rural highways you have to stop occasionally and can only proceed when a red light next to a camera goes out. Smile! The most worrying thing that happened to me personally was when I went to leave the country I was questioned repeatedly about two people I didn't know. My denials were ignored and more questions about these people followed. Eventually I worked out that these were owners of a guesthouse that I had tried unsuccessfully to locate a few days earlier with the help of two passerbys. Mr.Immigration and I cleared up the confusion, he took a picture of the guesthouse's location on Maps.Me and stamped my passport. BUT how did he know I was looking for these people's guesthouse a few days earlier???? Maybe one of my so called helpers phoned the authorities. BUT how did he know it was me looking for these people's guesthouse???? I had never given these people my name. Police state anyone? I hope Sendar and Elvira are ok.

Buildings in Ashgabat are most definitely white and made of marble. I had previously met another traveler who had seemed freaked out by the experience of cruising around such a vast amount of whiteness. Most of the city is quite beautiful. One street in particular was particularly opulent with domed roofs, marbled columns everywhere attached to large fronted pompous (and pretentious) government buildings. It really is a world class street to behold but not only was it blocked off by guarding soldiers but also no photography was allowed anywhere in the vicinity and believe me, there were enough soldiers around to ensure not even a sneaky snap could be taken. To ensure I saw as much of the city as I could I hired a taxi for 3 hours at less than $2 an hour. During this trip we visited many sights such as the world's largest covered (in marble) ferris wheel (not working but big). A 6 storey pyramidal (marble) shopping complex (empty) was located in Independence Park, as was a tall monument nicknamed the plunger for obvious reasons once you saw it. The last place of interest in this park was a bizarre monument to 'Ruhnama', the aforementioned biography written by the ex-dictator. I visited many other places such as the Arch of Neutrality, the local circus and the Wedding Palace, all white and made of marble. It really is an interesting city made even more unreal by the fact that at nearly all these unique places I would be the only person there. Close to the true center of the city there were many cars and people but a short transit changed the whole dynamics of the city although the infrastructure surrounding these areas suggested that there should be more people and cars. Fascinating place, again, glad I don't live there.

If you ever come this way ensure you bring your quota of two packets of cigarettes. Foreign cigarettes are like little nuggets of gold in this country. I used them as part payment for a 7 hour taxi ride (made it a lot cheaper) as well as an incentive for another taxi driver who with the knowledge that cigarettes would come his way helped me alot in organising things in and around the city. My first night in Turkmenistan was spent on the floor of a train carriage that I hadn't booked (bribed the station manager a total of $2.50 for the 5 hour ride). The only space for sleeping was where the 2 carriages joined and a few cigarettes helped the conductor find a few more blankets that helped us in getting a couple more hours kip. The reason for this train trip was that I had spent some time at the 'Gates of Hell'. This is an actual crater that was made when the weight of gas exploration equipment created the ground to collapse below it during the 1970's. The resultant crater leaked gas and some bright spark thought by setting it alight the problem would go away in a few days. 40 years later it still burns. It is a place I've been looking forward to see for years and I wasn't disappointed. The other geological site I visited was the Köw Ata underground lake. Situated 65m underground this lake is thermally heated so it was on with the swimming gear. Quite an unique experience made even more so by the number of pigeons that seemed to live in this underground cavern.

Other things that happened:
- Upon entering the country a lady appeared in the immigration control area and after a brief explanation that she was a medical officer (and before I could respond) placed some type of thermometer on my forehead before saying I was OK. At least, I think it was a thermometer?? 
- Tragedy struck after a long day walking around the city without food and water. A brainfade led to me in leaving my tablet behind after taking a photo. Half an hour passed before realizing and panic setting in. Running back trying to go over in my mind where I could have left it wasn't pleasant. Arriving at the most sensible place was initially a letdown before I heard shouts in the distance. So many thank you's followed to the man who hung around waiting. US$10 made his day (maybe month).
- Official bank exchange rate is US$1 = 3.5 manat. Easily obtained black market is US$1 = 17-18 manat. To get around this discrepancy 5 star hotels will only accept US dollars (I know, I tried). 1 litre of petrol = 1.5 manat (10c).Bus around town = 2c. Taxi to most places around town is 10 manat (60c).
- I own the 3rd highest score on a pinball machine in Berkarar Shopping Mall in Ashgabat (Deadpool). And long may my name stay in lights.
- Getting in is usually easier than getting out. So was the case in Turkmenistan. Rolling up to the port to catch a ferry across the Caspian sea the day before my visa expired didn't help. They told me to come back the following day. Arriving lunchtime no one could tell me when the ferry departed let alone if it had arrived. So after waiting 9 hours they shuttled me into a transit waiting area to ensure I didn't exceed my visa. There I spent the next 25 hours, by myself (except for non-english speaking border guards). Fortunately I had read these things happen so I bought a bit of food and water earlier so survived until other people started piling into the area. Excited that things were happening I was again let down when after 2 hours we got on the boat (11pm at night) only to find out the captain had decided not to sail until the next morning. For US$100 (foreigner price) I had hoped for a cabin but no, the floor is where I slept. Next morning we departed (yeah) and on schedule, 13 hours later, we arrived. Next after 2 hours we were allowed to alight the boat and for the first time things seemed to change for the better as they allowed foreigners to get off first (there were 6 of us). We had landed quite away from the capital of Azerbaijan, Baku, and so a bus had been provided. Unfortunately after getting off first we had to wait 4 hours as the bus wouldn't leave until everyone was off the boat. So my 13 hour boat trip took just over 60 hours. Not good but hey that's travelling.